Don't Walk... Grapevine!

I realized I officially started this blog a little out of the blue, and it occurred to me that you (that ever-elusive you we bloggers talk to who could be anyone but is probably no one) might not know much about me. I don't want this to turn into a boring laundry list of facts, and I'm sure in the coming entries you'll get a pretty good idea of what I'm about, so instead I'll go into someone else's idea of who I am.
Or at least, of anyone born in late June/ early to mid July.

I recently went to this website:
http://mizian.com.ne.kr/englishwiz/library/names/zodiac/contents.htm
It is only useful to anyone who wants to read a hell of a lot more than they ever needed to know about their horoscope sign...
Don't judge me.

I was born around 2 am on June 22nd, in other words, a Cancer, right on the cusp of Gemini. Now as silly as it is, we've all read some kind of description of our sign, and general things that apply to millions usually mesh well with our personalities. It has to, purely because of odds.
I am no hippie. I'm not all about love and peace. I do believe there are things that exist that we cannot perceive or hope to truly understand, but I've always thought this horoscope stuff needed to be taken with a large grain of salt, entertaining as it may be.

So, disregarding the kitty roadkill, victim of a 2009 Curiosity, I started reading my sign's description.

Started out predictable. Water sign, in tune with the moon, romantic, emotional and moody, very caring, etc. Then it started to get a little more practical. Well, as practical as comparing humans to crabs can be. (the sign of cancer is represented by a crab)
Then this statement caught me and knocked the breath out of my chest:

Once you've wounded him, you can poke at him with a sharp stick for days afterwards and not reach him. He won't answer his phone, his doorbell or his mail. In the midst of uncertainty, despair and sadness. Cancer people seek retreat and solitude. Just like real crabs.

This perfectly describes a facet of myself I've never quite been able to understand. Very often, usually in response to something going wrong in my life but not necessarily, I will go into a funk for a few days at a time. I will not answer phone calls, emails, doorbells, will try to avoid contact with anyone. It usually results in some hurt feelings from loved ones and people getting worried, and yet I persist.
My explanation for this has always been that when I am upset about something, I somehow think I should be able to handle it on my own, and don't want to burden others with my problems. I either work it out, or suppress it until it goes away for the time being.

As if this wasn't creepy enough, a few scrolls down the page and I was hit again:

Cancerians never go directly after what they want. Their strategy is to move in every direction but straight ahead.

This sentence describes perfectly the last 4 years of my life. I have taken so many indirect routes to try and achieve what I want, that I have sometimes wondered if it was what I really want after all. I figured if I really wanted it, I would go the straightest and strongest path.

But maybe I'm just trying to fit my square peg into life's round hole.

Maybe these are not problems to be dealt with, but just parts of who I am. Maybe there is nothing wrong with taking a few days to yourself, as long as you go about it the right way. Maybe there is nothing wrong with going after what you want through the (many) indirect paths of life, as long as you have faith you'll get there eventually.

And maybe there is something to this whole astrology crap.

Go figure.