I've been noticing the world around me a lot more lately. And it's really interesting, if sometimes heartbreaking.
Flying home from Aspen, the man next to me was either trying to sleep or was asleep the whole flight. One moment, I happened to look over at him, just in time to see a tear suddenly fall out of his gently closed eye. He immedeately opened it, or woke up, and wiped it away.
Why was he crying? Was it just something irritating his eye? Was he thinking about a past love? A failure? Dreading whatever it was he was flying to? Sadness, nostalgia, anger, fear, love, happiness, so many possibilities for why this man shed one solitary tear on a flight to New York. I spent the rest of the flight thinking about it, and also thinking about why, when he opened his eyes, did I look away pretending not to see? I think it was out of respect, for whatever the moment or thought was that moved him so much, I didn't want him to feel embarrased about it. I don't know if he saw me looking or not, but I still felt a small connection with him.
Later that day, after my flight had landed, I had driven back to the apartment, and as I was pulling my luggage through the courtyard of my complex, I saw the prostitute who frequents my building. She was rather desperately following a man, who, in a reply to some question she had asked (you can figure it out) said "No, I do NOT want that at all."
As she was following him, our eyes met for a brief moment, and I thought I could almost see the scared little girl inside her that was appalled at what she had become. She had the drawn, thin look of a drug addict, and if she was pretty once, it had all been lost to her lifestyle. I've seen her before and had pity on her, or was disgusted. But for this one second, I saw something in her that was human, that was a mirror of something in me, and felt a connection.
I know these people probably don't remember the moments I'm talking about, the probably don't even remember seeing me at all. I don't care whether they felt a connection, I did. And it kind of woke me up to the fact that everyone is an individual human being. It's not just a mass of people. Everyone has individual thoughts, feelings, everyone has a heart and a brain, has gone through countless experiences.
Someone mentioned this observation to me... what seems like a lifetime ago. He was fascinated that I was another human being with a beating heart and a soul, and that we were connecting. I agreed halfheartedly, but now I finally realize what he was talking about. I wish I could tell him that.
Moral: I'm going to try and keep this idea in mind, and not think of people as a group, or any kind of generalization. I will try to be more plugged into the present, so I can have more moments like this, because they make me feel more alive.
And every moment I feel alive is another moment I'm glad I am.
Flying home from Aspen, the man next to me was either trying to sleep or was asleep the whole flight. One moment, I happened to look over at him, just in time to see a tear suddenly fall out of his gently closed eye. He immedeately opened it, or woke up, and wiped it away.
Why was he crying? Was it just something irritating his eye? Was he thinking about a past love? A failure? Dreading whatever it was he was flying to? Sadness, nostalgia, anger, fear, love, happiness, so many possibilities for why this man shed one solitary tear on a flight to New York. I spent the rest of the flight thinking about it, and also thinking about why, when he opened his eyes, did I look away pretending not to see? I think it was out of respect, for whatever the moment or thought was that moved him so much, I didn't want him to feel embarrased about it. I don't know if he saw me looking or not, but I still felt a small connection with him.
Later that day, after my flight had landed, I had driven back to the apartment, and as I was pulling my luggage through the courtyard of my complex, I saw the prostitute who frequents my building. She was rather desperately following a man, who, in a reply to some question she had asked (you can figure it out) said "No, I do NOT want that at all."
As she was following him, our eyes met for a brief moment, and I thought I could almost see the scared little girl inside her that was appalled at what she had become. She had the drawn, thin look of a drug addict, and if she was pretty once, it had all been lost to her lifestyle. I've seen her before and had pity on her, or was disgusted. But for this one second, I saw something in her that was human, that was a mirror of something in me, and felt a connection.
I know these people probably don't remember the moments I'm talking about, the probably don't even remember seeing me at all. I don't care whether they felt a connection, I did. And it kind of woke me up to the fact that everyone is an individual human being. It's not just a mass of people. Everyone has individual thoughts, feelings, everyone has a heart and a brain, has gone through countless experiences.
Someone mentioned this observation to me... what seems like a lifetime ago. He was fascinated that I was another human being with a beating heart and a soul, and that we were connecting. I agreed halfheartedly, but now I finally realize what he was talking about. I wish I could tell him that.
Moral: I'm going to try and keep this idea in mind, and not think of people as a group, or any kind of generalization. I will try to be more plugged into the present, so I can have more moments like this, because they make me feel more alive.
And every moment I feel alive is another moment I'm glad I am.
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