The Curious Case of Feminine Mystique

Remember all those sci-fi movies you loved watching as a kid?

Anyone?

Ok fine, remember ANY movie that was set in the future you loved watching as a kid?

Back to the Future counts, yes. Ok, we're on the same page now.

The two big predictions that always seemed to be the forefront of technology in 'the future' were A: flying cars and B: video calling. Uniform fashion comes in at a close 3rd, but since the popularization of Lady Gaga I feel that pretty soon the only possible way to get crazier is simplicity.

Anyway, although we have not yet solved the flying car dilemma (which is good because we should really focus on going green rather than going up up and away) with the new iPhone 4 coming out, it seems that we have started the personal video calling revolution.

Now, I'm aware a similar technology has existed via the internet for a while. Video chatting through Skype or iChat has become very popular, conference calls are now face-to-face meetings for companies that can afford it, and whether it's true or not, we all assumed that millionaires have been able to do this since the early 90's. If you know any, please find out if this is true; I always thought something was off about Richie Rich.

But this is bringing all that technology to your mobile phone. No need for a clunky computer, no setup required, all you need is a wifi signal and you're off. In other words, almost everywhere you go, you can now be seen and heard.

Now gentlemen, go ahead and cheer, but ladies, please stop and think for a moment. How long does it take you to get ready in the morning? 30 minutes? An hour? 2 even? Unless you are just naturally radiant when you first wake up (in which case, yes, we all hate you and want your secrets) you do not want ANYONE except the people you live with to see you until you are damn well ready.
Or what about at night? Maybe you have a certain someone you've been dying to talk to all day, but if you're not going to see him or her, who is really going to keep their makeup and push-up bra on for a phone conversation? No one.... unless you know you will be video chatting.

Phone calls allow women to create that mystery and slight illusion we have been practicing for centuries while still being accessible. Even if you get a 1 am bootycall, you still will have a good 10 minutes to perk yourself up.

Now again, this does not apply to the women who do not give in to the pressure of wearing bras and makeup and hair products, but for the 95% of us that do, we need a little warning before we are expected to look presentable. With video calling, that luxury will disappear. Sure, you can reject the video request, but who wants to be rude?
Ever answer a phone call leaving the gym? Getting out of the shower? SLEEPING? Did you really want the person you were talking to to see you?

As Chris Rock says, men lie big, but women lie a lot about the little things. Our hair color, height, skin tone, boob perkiness level, we all try to upgrade a little for the sake of some feminine mystique. The truly sexy women of the world know you ALWAYS leave a little to the imagination.

Feminine mystique was dealt a good blow with high-def. I'm pretty sure not even Megan Fox wanted her pores in high-def on the 30-foot screen. Instead of just having their fashion picked apart on the red carpet, stars now have to worry about the camera catching a slightly puffy eye, a frizzy out-of-place hair, a bead of sweat from the harsh lights. The camera sees it all.

And now, thanks to video phones, everyone who has your number will too.

I know this will only be available to iPhone4 owners, but look at all the phones that came from other companies in the wake of Apple. Now almost every phone has a touch screen, email, and facebook applications. In 3 years, who's to say just how many people will own a phone with video capabilities?

Just like ladies are wondering now where all the gentlemen of the world went, men are going to start to wonder where all the mysterious women of the world went. And if Nancy Drew, the Hardy Boys, and the Scooby-Doo Gang were to investigate, they would all land on the same answer:

Blame Steve Jobs.