The Curious Case of Feminine Mystique

Remember all those sci-fi movies you loved watching as a kid?

Anyone?

Ok fine, remember ANY movie that was set in the future you loved watching as a kid?

Back to the Future counts, yes. Ok, we're on the same page now.

The two big predictions that always seemed to be the forefront of technology in 'the future' were A: flying cars and B: video calling. Uniform fashion comes in at a close 3rd, but since the popularization of Lady Gaga I feel that pretty soon the only possible way to get crazier is simplicity.

Anyway, although we have not yet solved the flying car dilemma (which is good because we should really focus on going green rather than going up up and away) with the new iPhone 4 coming out, it seems that we have started the personal video calling revolution.

Now, I'm aware a similar technology has existed via the internet for a while. Video chatting through Skype or iChat has become very popular, conference calls are now face-to-face meetings for companies that can afford it, and whether it's true or not, we all assumed that millionaires have been able to do this since the early 90's. If you know any, please find out if this is true; I always thought something was off about Richie Rich.

But this is bringing all that technology to your mobile phone. No need for a clunky computer, no setup required, all you need is a wifi signal and you're off. In other words, almost everywhere you go, you can now be seen and heard.

Now gentlemen, go ahead and cheer, but ladies, please stop and think for a moment. How long does it take you to get ready in the morning? 30 minutes? An hour? 2 even? Unless you are just naturally radiant when you first wake up (in which case, yes, we all hate you and want your secrets) you do not want ANYONE except the people you live with to see you until you are damn well ready.
Or what about at night? Maybe you have a certain someone you've been dying to talk to all day, but if you're not going to see him or her, who is really going to keep their makeup and push-up bra on for a phone conversation? No one.... unless you know you will be video chatting.

Phone calls allow women to create that mystery and slight illusion we have been practicing for centuries while still being accessible. Even if you get a 1 am bootycall, you still will have a good 10 minutes to perk yourself up.

Now again, this does not apply to the women who do not give in to the pressure of wearing bras and makeup and hair products, but for the 95% of us that do, we need a little warning before we are expected to look presentable. With video calling, that luxury will disappear. Sure, you can reject the video request, but who wants to be rude?
Ever answer a phone call leaving the gym? Getting out of the shower? SLEEPING? Did you really want the person you were talking to to see you?

As Chris Rock says, men lie big, but women lie a lot about the little things. Our hair color, height, skin tone, boob perkiness level, we all try to upgrade a little for the sake of some feminine mystique. The truly sexy women of the world know you ALWAYS leave a little to the imagination.

Feminine mystique was dealt a good blow with high-def. I'm pretty sure not even Megan Fox wanted her pores in high-def on the 30-foot screen. Instead of just having their fashion picked apart on the red carpet, stars now have to worry about the camera catching a slightly puffy eye, a frizzy out-of-place hair, a bead of sweat from the harsh lights. The camera sees it all.

And now, thanks to video phones, everyone who has your number will too.

I know this will only be available to iPhone4 owners, but look at all the phones that came from other companies in the wake of Apple. Now almost every phone has a touch screen, email, and facebook applications. In 3 years, who's to say just how many people will own a phone with video capabilities?

Just like ladies are wondering now where all the gentlemen of the world went, men are going to start to wonder where all the mysterious women of the world went. And if Nancy Drew, the Hardy Boys, and the Scooby-Doo Gang were to investigate, they would all land on the same answer:

Blame Steve Jobs.

Acting is my Stalker

Hello, my little monkeys. Miss me? No? Pssssh, whatever. Not like I care...

The reason I have been away from this blog for so long is because, honestly, (can't believe I'm going to admit this) I.... I.... I have been questioning my desire to be an actor.
Now, don't get me wrong. In the past, I have been frustrated, I have been angry, I have questioned my talent, but I have never, NEVER, questioned my want of this profession and this life.

This, quite simply, scared me. I could elaborate, but please do not underestimate just how much this frightened me.

You know what every acting teacher says. If you can see yourself doing something else for a living, DO IT. If you don't have a burning need to be an actor, DON'T. Make room for the people who do want it, and save yourself a lifetime of rejection.

So, after a lot of thought (and a little therapy) I decided to take a break and go to Africa and volunteer. Get away from NY, figure things out while doing something good for the world.

What's that? Running away? No, of course I'm not, um, running away. I'm.... uh....
Ok, running may be a part of it, but I also would truly like to do a big volunteer project before I die... and make one last effort at getting tan. If I don't get tan in Ghana, it's hopeless.

Anyway, so I have just been focusing on work at the bar, moving into my very OWN apartment, and planning this trip, when two amazing things happened in very close succession.

At the bar where I work, there is karaoke 3 nights a week. I love working these nights because it's not crazy busy, and I LOVE doing karaoke. (don't tell me you didn't see that coming)
One of the bartenders can't sing, so I go up there with him to provide backup and snarky comments to the song lyrics and we have a great time.
I'm telling you this because about a week ago, I was working in the bar and this woman came up to me, and I will now try to recreate the conversation for you, including my thoughts at the time:

Woman: Excuse me, (noise of the bar) Mustang Sally?
Me: Um, what?
Woman: Did you sing Mustang Sally?
Me: Oh, haha, at karaoke? Yeah, that was me. (seriously? is this woman crazy?)
Woman: Oh, good. I just wanted to tell you I thought you had amazing stage presence and very good comedic timing.
Me: Aw, thank you, I was just trying to back up Smitty. You should get up there and sing! (wow, those are very specific compliments. at karaoke? she must be drunk)
Woman: You are sooo pretty! You looked so pretty up there.
Me: Thank you, that's so sweet. (oh she's nice. i know.)
Woman: Listen, I work at a talent management company. When you get a minute, come find me, I'd like to talk to you.
Me: Oh!.... Ok, you got it. (WSKJFBujbiulhsuiIUBGIGBISFBILF!!!!!?????)

So, obviously, I went and talked to her, and she wants me to come in and audition for her to represent me.
Now, I know what you're thinking, but I did my research. She's legit. And I'm going in to audition in a week.
Now, this may seem like a normal step in an actor's life, but let me remind you, I decided to take a break. This happened out of the blue at frickin KARAOKE.

On a completely different track, my best friend has formed an alliance with a movie producer (small-time but that's good because he'll actually listen to us and incorporate our opinion) and is putting together a series of short films about... well.... some really messed-up people. I did makeup for one of the short films and it actually looked pretty damn good. So now they're using me to do all the makeup for all the films which is awesome.

As you may or may not know, I have a bit of an obsession with serial killers. I love reading about them, watching movies, finding out about their sick, twisted minds, etc. I guess you could say it's a hobby. So, I've been the team's twisted adviser in addition to makeup artist.

Now, the producer came over the other day to discuss the possibility of turning the series into an actual TV show. My immediate response was that there must be a 'hook'. There must be something different. Ex: Dexter. Serial killer.... of serial killers. So he's a good guy. That's interesting.
A while ago we had discussed me playing a victim in the one of the films. Somehow over about 30 minutes of brainstorming, we had combined two classic thousand-year-old stories into an idea. Now, I would love to tell you, but someone might steal it (tiny chance, I know, but hey-ho people are crazy). Suffice to say, I somehow talked out an idea where the show would star.... ME. As the victim.
Nothing is set in stone yet, but just as a possibility... wow.

Now, let me remind you AGAIN, I chose to leave this life behind for a while. I had no intentions of taking another shot at this for at least a few months, but somehow, it followed me.

Now, I'm a big believer in everything happening for a reason. If these things had not happened so close together, I might have written it off as a fluke. But they both happened right when I needed it most, when I was at my shakiest as an artist. There is no way this did NOT happen for a very specific reason.

I think the Universe is telling me that I was on the right path. That this is the life for me. To not give up, to keep trying and fight through the dark because this is the existence I was supposed to have. That I am an artist.

I think the Universe is telling me not to run.