1. I could have died today
2. This post will contain talk of the big G-O-D
In other words, if you are an athiest who takes yourself way too seriously, or you are not in the mood for 'heavy' subject matter, you probably are gonna want to move on and read the last 5 textsfromlastnight that have been added since the last time you looked at the site.
Note: this is not me judging, I do it too.
I originally did not want to blog while on my trip, but I want to get this out while it's still fresh in my head, plus I'm coming home in 3 days anyway, so same diff.
Ok, so about almost dying... sorry I ruined the punchline, but here goes.
I was traveling in a car (not in the drivers seat I would just like to point out) along one of Burkina-Faso's best maintained roads on my way to hopefully see some elephants. Now, when I say best-maintained road, I'm not lying... but here, that's not saying much. Potholes and rocks galore, and since it is rainy season, mud and puddles. The driver, there being essentially no other vehicular traffic, was going from side to side on the road to avoid said obstacles, when suddenly.... A high-speed turtle shell hit us from behind just as we slipped on a banan peel and-
Oh, wait, that's MarioKart. Sorry.
Seriously, suddenly three women came onto the side of the road we were driving along in a SUV at around 35 miles an hour. The driver swerved to avoid them, they dived out of the way, and our car went out of control, slid off of the road into a small ditch, then went AIRBORNE and flipped counter clockwise. I believe we would have turned all the way upside down if a large tree did not slam into our windshield and roof, effectively stopping the car balanced on the drivers side with the passenger window above our heads.
Kids, I can't make this shit up.
So those are the mechanics of what happened, but what struck me is so much more than that. In the maybe 1.5 seconds between the first swerve and slamming into that tree, I had the oddest emotional reaction imaginable.
I felt absolutely calm.
Now I know there are many ways to explain this. There wasn't enough time to process what was happening, my brain couldn't keep up with my eyes, I went into survival mode, whatever. And if I was emotionless I would maybe believe that.
But what I felt was this calm certainty that nothing serious would happen and that I would be ok. I mean, not just hope, but absolutely knew without a shadow of a doubt, just like I know my name is Rachel and Oscar Wilde was a homo.
My life did not flash before my eyes, because I knew I was not going to die.
I know it sounds cliche, but that accident did seem to go in slow motion. As we were heading off the road I knew we were going to crash, and as I saw the tree coming I knew the car would be damaged. But I was not at all surprised when the roof directly in front of and over my head crunched inwards, and stopped about an inch from my face.
And boys and girls, out of that horrible wreck, I emerged with not a scratch.
I don't talk about this side of me that much, but I take my Jewish spiritualism pretty seriously. I believe in God, if not the traditional image of God (please note lack of pronoun use) but my own interpretation based on Torah and personal morals and logic. I don't think you're going to hell if you don't believe in God, I'm just saying I do, and I've known that for a while.
Usually the time I talk to God most is on the subway; I'm either thanking him for making the train come right on time or cussing him out for it just pulling out as I step on the platform, late yet again.
This trip has made me feel closer to God than I have in a while. I think it's because when I'm thankful for something, I feel at peace, and I've had so much to be thankful for on this journey.
But this was the cherry on top of the African dark chocolate fudge sundae.
Call me crazy, but in those 1.5 seconds, I knew without a doubt that God was, in some small way, in the car with me and letting me know that I was going to be fine.
When I got out and saw how the car was wrapped around the tree like a stepford wife christmas present, it hit me how low the probability of me not getting hurt at all was in a crash like that. Even the driver had only a small cut on his thumb. In all honesty, we could have, and maybe even should have, been serously injured or died.
Plus, neither my iPod nor my camera were damaged. If that isn't God's hand, I don't know what is.
So call it what you want. Call it luck, call it karma, call it a guardian angel, or call it a fluke. There have been times in my life (and long-time friends have agreed with me on this) when it has seemed like I have more luck than the average person (knock on wood). But maybe, just maybe, it's not always luck.
Maybe someone is actually watching out for me on a universal level.
I couldn't be more grateful.
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