How the Grinch Stole Your Heart

It's taken a while, and I'm still not quite used to it, but the fact is: I have an effect on men.

I mean this without being arrogant or braggy, but with honesty; from simple responses and behaviors that I have observed.

I don't mean that I walk into a bar and heads swivel, or that I cause traffic accidents. That's left for movies and plastic surgery. No, I mean once a guy starts talking to me, 90% of the time I seem to leave a serious impression on him. I think it all kind of goes back to my abundance of beginner's luck (bulls-eye my first time shooting an arrow, next shot didn't even hit the target) and my ability to listen.
Yes, I talk a lot, but I listen to. And in the words of Dane Cook, "I don't just listen, I LISTEN"

I respond. I ask questions. I give answers, or at least offer a possible path. I don't judge and draw from only my own experiences so I have some authority on the subject.

BUT... not every guy who finds me interesting is interesting to me in turn. And this is the bad part, because when I find I'm no longer interested, I pretty much shut down as far as that person is concerned. I let them fade into the backround of my dating past (because I have other priorities) pretty much through halting of all communication and hope they get the message.
This is not news.

I don't mean to leave people in limbo, I just suck at communication when I or the other person is uncomfortably emotional. In my head, it's easier for everyone involved if I just let go.

I guess although I am very mature in some ways, in others I am just becoming an adult. One of my personal definitions of being an adult is the ability to see outside the universe of you on a regular basis. And I guess if I'm going to keep dating around, I need to be able to see outside of myself and step up to the plate rejecting these guys, or stop sending signals in the first place. I'm a flirt, and I know it. It's fun and, for me, harmless.

But I need to take some responsibility, for my actions and the feelings of others when it comes to, well, me. I need be upfront and tell the truth. And I guess I'll start now, since it is Christmas eve, and according to Love Actually, on Christmas you tell the truth.

No one wants to be the Jew who stole your sanity on Christmas. Not even me.