I DID IT!!!!!!
Yes, you heard right, I did it! I am now at the tail end of my 7th day on the Master Cleanse (for info check out previous blog), sipping my last mug of senna tea, completely ready for that amazing taste of apple juice at tomorrow morning's first light.
Yes, I do still have the 3 day ease-out process to get through before resuming somewhat regular eating habits. During the cleanse, your body goes into starvation mode, and metabolism drops way way down. So, to not overdo it on your system/tummy, it's necessary to slowly reintroduce easy-to-digest foods. The first day is apple or orange juice combined with water, second day is vegetable broth and rice crackers, third day is cooked veggies and fruit, and most recommend probiotic yogurt to replace all the bacteria that has been flushed out of your system.
But enough about what I'm going to eat. Lord knows I've thought about that enough in the last few days. Let's have an overview of my reactions.
I left you, good and kind people of the interwebs, on Day 4. Day 5 was very similar to Day 4, maybe a slight increase in energy, but still going strong, cravings not driving me crazy, so on, blah blah. I thought it was going to be an easy slide home.
Hah. So I thought.
Come Day 6, and for some reason I wake up on the wrong side of the bed. Yes, I did wake up late, but I was alerted to the fact that I wasn't needed at work for an extra hour, which usually makes me perk up.
Not this time.
From the minute I got to work, it was apparent to me that not only was everyone I served incredibly stupid, with almost no sense of social courtesy and a complete lack of reading comprehension skills, but also was there for the sole purpose of pissing me off as much as humanely possible.
The longer the day wore on, the more easily irritated I was with everyone, customers and staff alike. Now, I'm usually a chipper little chipmunk (there are fairy wings on the walls after all), but by noon the entire staff knew to just make a wide berth around me. And then the oddest thing happened: I started crying. Actually. Fucking. Crying.
And you want to know why? Because I saw another waitress, who happens to be incredibly short and petite, wearing the cutest little white short shorts, and thought to myself "It doesn't matter, I'm never going to look like THAT."
Yeah, don't worry, I don't know what I was thinking either. I don't want to look like anyone else. I want to look like ME, just a healthy, fit version of me. But for some reason, I was fed up with everything and it was just the mental straw that broke me.
I left early from work and put on a big smile to spend the evening at a comedy show with the boy and his sweet-as-sugar mom, but then had to have yet another cry before bed. This wasn't even about something specific, just the things that I always have to worry about. We all have them... right? Right? Yeah, you know you do.
Fortunately, once I got it out, I was able to enjoy the rest of my night in, and woke up this morning with one triumphant thought: THE LAST DAY
And for some odd reason, this turned out to be one of those "best day EVAR!!!"s.
I went to meet a friend for lunch, and of course, took a sip of my evil concoction every time I felt like reaching out and snatching a bite of his perfectly-cooked bacon. One of the waitresses stopped to ask me about it, and ended up being inspired to try it herself. Then, a walk around the Union Square Market, where I, on a whim, bought potted rosemary, dill, and basil, which are now resting in soil in my backyard. Time will tell if they actually survive (I had to plant them with a spoon because I didn't have a shovel), but at least I can cross 'plant my own fresh herbs' off my bucket list. Then, while walking around the market, I discovered a loophole in the Cleanse. Pure, organic, grade-B maple.... CANDY.
I jumped 3 feet straight up in the air as soon as I made the connection in my brain. If I'm allowed to drink maple syrup, then OF COURSE I'm allowed to have one little piece of pure maple candy! The joy I felt at putting the first solid food in my mouth in 7 days, and knowing it wasn't even cheating is... is... I can't describe it. I'll tear up again.
But true to my word, I only got one small piece, and nibbled it bit by bit for 10 minutes until it all dissolved to mapley goodness on my tongue.
And, to top off this lovely, lightened, hopeful day, I got chatted up by none other than a male model on the subway ride home who asked for my number.
Admit it, ladies, things like that put a swing in your step, eh?
To conclude this off the wall experiment: I accomplished a goal that I previously thought was next to impossible. I have purged out a lot of my physical as well as emotional toxins. I now feel in control of my food urges. I have lost a total of 8 lbs. I feel happy, and hopeful that I can keep my body in a healthy routine.
And I've never been so excited to eat veggies in my life.
Whether I've made a believer out of you or not, the bottom line is: If you're in good health, a week without food won't kill you. And I always advocate shaking up your routine, whatever it is. I just want to continue to learn and grow as a person.
Doesn't everyone?
No comments:
Post a Comment