I know my last post was about something really nice and good. And something really nice and good did happen, and it still means a lot.
But at a price, apparently.
Bad things come in 3s. I know this. I mean, as a Jew, I should already know that bad things are just going to happen regardless of anything we do to try and stop them. Such is life (sigh).
But it seems sometimes that when shit goes down in my life, it always is right on the heels of something good. Like, I'm only allowed a certain amount of enjoyment from the good things until the shitstorm starts and I have to dive for cover.
I know, I know, privileged little white girl whining alert. Just give me a second, I have real problems too, you know.
I was in the hospital Friday night. Because I was in massive pain. Wait, backtrack, because I had been alone in my apartment with massive pain all day until boy came to my rescue and whisked me off the the ER. A little morphine, a CAT scan, and 8 hours later, back to my place to wallow and sleep it off.
When I called my mom Saturday to tell her what happened, she informed me that my grandfather (not the one who had the stroke, the other one) has stopped eating and is not expected to make it to Thanksgiving. I realize this is not a bad thing happening specifically to me, and I can't imagine the pain my grandmother is going through, but I do love my grandfather and I have never lost a grandparent before. I knew it was only a matter of time, (like everything else) but I still thought I would get to see him one more time. It turns out this is now not the case.
And just to put a capper on the weekend, boy and I decided not to talk for a week.
Only a week ago I was thrilled to have done some meaningful work and gotten amazing feedback. One week. And now it seems like everything is backwards.
Is it my fault? Is it karma? Maybe I don't deserve to be happy for too long. Or at least someone up there seems to think so.
It sort of leaves me thinking... What did I do wrong?
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Hey. You didnt do anything wrong. The universe sucks and there's nothing else really to it.
ReplyDeleteI lost my grandfather 2 years ago, right before thanksgiving/my birthday
it's never easy. If you need someone to talk to, let me know.
'what did I do wrong?' is something I ask myself every single day these days. I almost wish it WAS us, because then we could fix something. Unfortunately, all of the bad shit is beyond our control and the only thing we can do is keep trying to remind ourselves that we are truly, good, decent people and our longer stretch of happiness is on it's way. You're a peach, ;) .. It'll all work out<3
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