Just Called to Say

I did it again, didn't I? I neglected my faithful readers and the devastation is... it's just...

"Everyone watch out, Rachel needs some attention and is being dramatic!" - my darling sister

This entry is going to be a little different than the usual tone of my blog. I don't really have a problem I need to sort out (at least nothing that I feel comfortable writing about on here), or a specific point I want to allude to, segue from, then drive home with witty nonsense.

Simply, something really nice happened. And I'd like to write about it, so I can always remember it.

I recently was cast in and finished shooting my first (!) feature film. Due to real and imagined legal reasons, I can't give specific details, but no worries fair readers, as soon as I am able to, I will be selling the hell out of it.
Especially since the director promised me one of those "and introducing..." credits. I always wanted one of those!

Anyway, back to my non-point, I spent a couple weeks filming with a great crew, a smart and communicative director, and my best friend. The fact that I spent Tuesday mostly naked surrounded by men in front of a camera is just another feather in the hat of 'is this really my life?'.
And before you ask, no. It was NOT a porno. If it was porn, I would have gotten paid. True story.

Most of my scenes involved little to no dialogue, but lots of emotion and intensity. Fortunately, the only character I had any scenes with was played by my bestie MJ.
We have a long history, MJ and I. Besides the many adventures of our colorful friendship, we have done many many scenes together, and maybe because we click so well as friends we click amazingly well onstage and screen. We trust each other, and are not intimidated by the others talent. Sort of a dream team, if you will.

While filming, I had that great sense of being lost in a scene. Granted, MJ does not like to stick to scripts, so I had to constantly be on my toes, but it was exhilarating. Truly, when I'm working on a great quality project, there is nothing else I'd rather be doing.
But what you feel is not always what comes across, especially on camera. That little lens captures every detail of your face, and something as small as the tilt of your head can convey and entirely different mood than you intended. Well hey, I figured, if it wasn't what he wanted, the director would have us fix it. You just have to trust.

So come the day after filming, I get a call from my director while at work. I can't pick up right away, but the first chance I get I sneak away to listen to the voice mail he left me.

And within minutes, my day was made.

He had been looking at my scenes in post, and felt the need to call and tell me that... he loved my work. Apparently for each scene I had not only done exactly what he wanted, but had far exceeded his expectations. He then went on to encourage me to never ever give up acting, that I was very talented and that he thought I would go very far.

Give that a second to sink in. Wow.

And that was it. No other reason for the call.

Now, this did not surprise my mother, but it shocked the hell out of me. It's been so long since someone has professionally encouraged me. Someone I have no personal attachment to, who has nothing to gain from flattery. I'm not saying I'm not grateful for the support of family, friends, and boy (in fact I couldn't keep going without them), but this is coming from an entirely different source.

And man, it feels great.

I guess that's what keeps us actors going. For 99% of us, being an actor is a shit life. Unemployment, rejection, frustration, lack of inspiration threaten us every day. Sometimes we can get to wondering why we try over and over again.

But when a moment like that comes, we learn why all over again.