So, without further ado....
Let me just start this off by saying that this is not intended as a message for anybody. This is not supposed to start a personal discussion, this is not supposed to hurt anyone's feelings, and this is not supposed to be read into or taken very seriously at all. This is just a blog about some things I've been thinking a lot about lately.
That being said...
I've been thinking a lot lately about love. No, not family love, not friend or pet love. Real, true, consuming, heated, romantic love. Who has it, who doesn't, who wants it, who loves it, who hates it, who can't get enough of it, who wants to forget it. I'm willing to bet that anyone who has really experienced it has felt all of these things. I'm also willing to bet that if you don't know if you've had it or not, chances are you haven't. It hits you like a fucking mac truck.
Or does it?
I was talking to my mom about love today, or more specifically, The One. How do you know? How did she know? If anyone should know about love, she should. She was proposed to twice by the time she was my age, 5 times in total. She said yes to the last one, who 26 years later, is still her husband. I asked her if she loved the other guys. She said she did. I asked her, but how did you know to say no to them when they asked? She said she just didn't feel 'it', whatever 'it' is. I asked her how did she know with dad if she had never felt it before? She just knew. And she did, right from the very beginning. After their first kiss, the first thing she did was call her mother and tell her "I just met the man I'm going to marry."
No, this is not made up. Apparently this kind of thing actually does happen.
That's the 'movie version' if you will. Some instinct deep in your gut tells you "This is it. You can stop looking. This is what you've been waiting for" And it doesn't, say, wait the appropriate length of time for you to weigh the pros and cons, or gradually let the other person discover it first, or take a very intellectual look at your emotions and logically decide that yes, you are, in fact, in love.
This is what my mom believes to be the indicator that this is The One. And my mom is a smart lady. It hit her once, she siezed it, and never looked back.
This is also what most people are looking for. And they are on their guard about it, because who knows, you may lose your one chance! So grab it when it comes along, don't let go!
I should mention my mom also said that she believes there is more than one The One out there. For everyone.
WHAT??????
This is all very confusing to me. There is only supposed to be one The One. That's why he or she is called... well... The One. Right?
If my mom is right, then I have met one The One. According to her, at least. But she is firm in the belief that I will find another The One. But to be honest, I don't know if I believe that's possible. I absolutely believe in finding love again, I may have already. But that gut feeling... I know what she's talking about. I've felt it. It seems to me to be something so precious, something that not everyone gets to experience even once, that there's no way someone could ever be lucky enough to find it twice.
But maybe not everyone finds The One like my mom did. Maybe the gradual realization that you're in love with your best friend is the way to The One. Maybe the couple that had an arranged marraige, that looks up one day and loves their spouse is the way to The One, and fate happened to play a hand. Maybe two emotionally beaten people who grow to trust each other, testing the waters every step of the way, is the way to The One.
The point is, I have no idea.
So... I'm stuck. Maybe the answer will be revealed in time, maybe my mom is right, maybe she's full of crap. I do believe that everything happens for a reason though, and even in the deepest dark and confusion, I have faith in that.
Anyway, that's been heavy on my mind. I'm wondering if I'm the only paranoid person who thinks about this stuff in that much detail, and if not, what other's viewpoints on love are. Feel free to respond to this, either in comment or in a message, but please, lets keep it academic. Again, this is nothing personal, I don't want to get into personal issues. This is just my neuroses reaching out to bounce ideas and viewpoints off of friends.
Whatever the real answer is, I hope that all of you get to experience it at least once. Just remember to be open to it, and believe it will come.
Thanks for listening.
It's certainly a tricky thing. Some people know right away and some take their time in acknowledging whether or not the person is "the one." I've heard so many people claim they've met the one and even get engaged - and then it ends for whatever reason. I think it's rare to have that immediate realization, like your mom. She's lucky!
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