Worse Than Bullets

A few days ago, while perusing the landscapes of textsfromlastnight.com, fmylife.com, and other various time-wasters of the interweb, I kept stumbling across references to a site called Chatroulette. Being the inquisitive little elf that I am, eventually I moseyed on over to chatroulette.com, and what I found there... is burned in my brain forever.

To try and describe this site, it's a mix between Skype, chat rooms, and Russian roulette. (fittingly, as it was created by a teenager in Russia. Motherland indeed.) Basically, you go on the site, and your webcam is activated. The site then links you up with another random person on the same site, and in an instant, you are video chatting with someone else from around the world. You have the option of deactivating sound, and can communicate through IM-style, but it is still face to face anonymity. You don't have to register, you have no user name, there is no way for the other person to find you ever again unless you give them information.

This may sound really strange, but once you start using the site it becomes addicting. You can say anything you want to anyone, and if you don't like them, simply click Next and you are connected to a new person.

Now I know what most of you are thinking. "Wow Rachel, this site is a great way to expand my mind and talk intelligently about different issues with people from around the world, what a great idea!"

Oh, you weren't thinking that? Well, if you are like a good 20% of people on the site, you were probably thinking "What a perfect opportunity to show the world what I look like masturbating!"

Wait, what??

Oh yes, friends. Just like in Russian roulette, if you go through enough blanks, eventually you get to a bullet. Only in this case, blanks are bored people staring at their computer, and bullets are close-up penises. Lots and lots of penises. In fact, this phenomenon has been turned into a successful drinking game, where every time a penis pops up, you take a shot.

Beware of playing for more than an hour, alcohol poisoning isn't fun for anyone.

Although about half of the site is penises or 15 year old boys asking girls to flash tits for Haiti, I've had some very interesting conversations. I went through about 10 people asking all of them what made them happy. A few didn't take me seriously, a few ended the session as soon as I asked, but some people shared their dreams, their family lives, and what keeps them going.

I also tried going on the site with a fake bruise and cut on my cheek, leftover from a film shoot earlier in the day. It may have been a messed up thing to do, but when anyone asked about it, I said that my boyfriend hit me. It was actually heartwarming to see the outrage and support as people advised me to leave, that I didn't deserve it, and even gave some websites that would help me get out.

I've talked to a man dressed as a cat, a film director in the west village, a bamboo growing out of a smiley face coffee mug, a boy lip-syncing "And I Am Telling You", french girls smoking 'cannabis', a Chilean man playing his tribal flute, and... wait for it.... the cast of Jersey Shore. Seriously. Pauly D and The Situation. Epic abs and hair gel.

Just like anything else, you have to wade through the crap to get to what the site was created for. And if you're patient and keep trying, like anything else, eventually you land on something good. So, try it! Have a conversation, ask the right questions, and see what you can learn.

Just beware of the penises. Unless you're into that sort of thing.